Coach - Facilitator - Trainer
Now the weight is flying off and I am really at a loss to explain it. But I will happily take it. I have less than 5 pounds to go to reach goal weight. Let’s see where weighing 153.5 pounds puts the car.
In other news, I am poised to lose 180 pounds in one fell swoop. It looks like I have added a new wrinkle to the MegaChallenge: being a healthy single mom. I am terrified and relieved and sad and nervous and hopeful and a little nostalgic. Sigh.
I have been putting it off for weeks, but I finally spent a couple of hours trying on the clothes in my closet. It is amazing how little of it fits me. Now comes the hard part: getting rid of it. I am such a pack rat. What if I gain the weight back? I don’t want to have to go out and re-purchase clothes at every size. But another part of me keeps saying, “If you don’t have those clothes you might be more likely to avoid needing the larger sizes.”
With hurricane came the real imputus to purge my closet. I got an email requesting larger-sized clothing. Evidently people are not donating clothing in bigger sizes, and those folks are doing without. I don’t need them. Someone esle does. They need to go.
Cleaning out the closet really makes me feel better. I have space for the things I actually wear. I don’t have to dig through 20 blouses to find the 3 that fit. Having some margin really is nice. I am sure there are other things that I need to let go. Perhaps that is one of the steps of the Mental Health MegaChallenge.
Oh, and in Fitness MegaChallenge, I did a 36 minute ride to nowhere this afternoon that takes care of workout 62/200. My Rio battery died at the 30 minute mark, so those last 6 minutes were some of the longest of my life. I may make a new MP3 player my goal weight prize. The upside would be the ability to carry more than 30 tunes and play it for more than an hour. The downside would be that I would be so overwhelmed with music choices that I never actually get around to working out. Hmmmm.
And goes, and goes! Another half of a pound vanished overnight to put the scale solidly on 159 this morning. So, yes, race fans, it is time to move the car!
As I get closer to my goal weight, I am working hard to ignore the failure voices that keep trying to pop into my head. They say things like, “The last 10 pounds are always the hardest.” They threaten me with, “You will never keep it off. No one does.” And then there is the always-encouraging, “Just because you have lost 30/40/50 pounds doesn’t mean you will ever be happy.” These thoughts are the real hurdles to my health. Sure, I keep track of every calorie, work out regularly, and continue to make progress, but the true MegaChallenge is improving my mental health. Unless I work toward being my genuine self, find my bliss, discover balance, or ________ (enter your mental health mantra here), no amount of weight loss is going to make me a happier person. My happiness should not ride on whether I am able to run 26.2 miles or fit into a size 10.
The MegaChallenge started with a rather flippant comment, but it highlighted a reality: that my dreams are achievable if I set goals and work toward them. I have wanted to be fit for years and just kept putting it off. When I was whining that my clothes woudln’t fit and that it would take 200 workouts to get into them I didn’t really expect to do those 200 workouts, and here I am with 61 of them behind me. Having someone take me seriously and say, “Do them!” is what finally got me off my ass.
Taking a hard look at the reality of what it will take to get me where I want to be and then setting out to get there is something I am getting better at doing. I returned to finish my degree in a similar fashion. Not finishing college had been hanging over my head for more than a decade, but I kept only half-planning to do something about it. I mentioned it a bunch but it wasn’t until I said it to someone who took me seriously that I was able to actually put a plan into action. I am scheduled to finish classes next June. I am 9 months away from completing something that I beat myself up over for 10 years!
I am certain that there are other dreams that I need to turn into goals. Thank goodness I am finally healthy enough to seek out positive, supportive people. They tend to be the same people who give me those nudges to seek my bliss. It may seem like a small thing, but it is a huge change from my history of seeking out folks who live to put me down. Like eating sleeves of Oreos, it was a “comfortable” way of living for years, but not a healthy one.
So, now I am faced with a deeper MegaChallenge and I have to wonder if there is anything I can do 200 times in order to achieve mental health. Nudges happily accepted.
I am still sitting in front of the TV, but I ran over here to update y’all on the fitness thang. I did go the gym yesterday (They have cable on the TVs in front of the elliptical trainers, so I was able to keep my eye on the news networks.) and completed workout 54/200.
I’ll be seeing my friends who got me into this whole MegaChallenge deal next weekend. It is the first time they will see me since the beginning of the summer. I am pretty excited that I am going back short some 25.5 pounds. (Here’s the car, son!)
When I started this it really was about the workouts – and I knew that workouts would cause me to lose some weight. But getting the eating in line made a bigger difference than I anticipated. (Here’s where you say, “Eureka! She gets it!”) I was counting on losing about a pound a week, so doing double that really makes the overall effect seem radical. I was squeezing into baggy size 16s in June, and I am struggling to keep my body-hugging 12s on, now.
It seems inconceivable that in 3 months I could be so close to my goal weight. The nice part of where I am is that I feel fine at the weight I am, now. I am happy with the way clothes fit. I have tons more energy. I can only imagine how I will feel in another 13.5 pounds.
Mark this day on your calendars, because history has been made, today. Yes, folks, I have officially hit two MegaMilestones in the fitness quest.
Drum roll, please.
I have officially entered the Normal BMI category. Barely. My BMI is 24.9, but it is green for the first time in recent memory. Okay, the last time I was here was in 2000. But, I am back! And I am staying. So, goodbye Obese and Overweight! Welcome home, Normal!!
In order to reach milestone number one, I had to reach milestone number two.
Another drumroll, if you would.
I am halfway to goal weight! No, really!! I weight 168.5 lbs (76.4 kg). That means I have lost 19.5 pounds and have 19.5 pounds left to lose. Woot!!!
In case you need a visual:
And, no, I am not celebrating with ice cream. I didn’t really set up rewards for reaching various milestones, so I dunno know what I will do to mark the occasion. Dancing around (a la Rocky atop the Philadelphia Art Museum Steps) might be a start, though. Hang on while I get my Rio cued to Gonna Fly Now.
Being at the hospital wastes me. I don’t know if it is the stress (yes!), the lack of the normal routine (yes! yes!), or the chairs (most definitely yes!) but I can barely function from exhaustion today. Bleck.
In MegaChallenge news, I actually relocated the gym today! It was right where I left it, though after a 5 day break, my muscles weren’t. I slogged through 50 minutes on the elliptical carousel and limped home happy to have the very elusive workout 38/200 in the books.
I also found a 171.5 waiting for me on the scale this morning. It took me a month to lose one half a pound and a day to lose the next. Funky strange body. I am not arguing, though. Being over 40% to goal weight is nice. Very nice.
I have lots of rants that I would love to stick onto soap boxes, but my arms are telling me that typing is out of the question. Maybe later. 🙂
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