Blissification

March’s Self Care Day on the 6th

March 6, 2012 By Gina Lynette 3 Comments

Sometimes the days are so full that you don’t think you have time to do any self care.

Well, my friend, those are the days when some self care should be a mandatory practice. Doctor’s orders mandatory. God says so mandatory. Soul sustaining mandatory.

If I could go into the religious tenets of the world and make one little tweak, it would be to balance the message of suffering and sacrifice with the reality of our need for sustenance and nurturing.

Joyce Rupp wrote something in a book that I read as a new mom that I’ve carried and quoted for years and years.

You cannot pour from an empty cup.

— Joyce Rupp, The Cup of our Comfort

We all have different soul-sustenance needs. If you can’t pause to hear your own breath, and refill that cup of yours, how on earth will you ever be able to do all of those things you’ve packed into those full days.

You can’t.

You may pretend you can. You may even fake your way through it for a long time. But at some point, you will hit that massive wall and your soul will say, “Enough!” It might look like an illness or getting fired from your job or a car crash or some other “inconvenience” that stops you in your tracks.

So, here’s your permission slip to take a moment, take that breath, and listen to what your soul and body need in order to continue offering the world your excellent, loving, giving self.

Filed Under: Blissification, Reflections, Self Care Day on the 6th

February’s Self Care Day on the 6th

February 6, 2012 By Gina Lynette Leave a Comment

As we celebrate the 6th month of our Self Care Day, I have to admit that I truly look forward to these planned, set aside, on purpose reminders to remember to tend to my own health and happiness. My tendency to pressure myself to execute every idea perfectly is still lurking in my head, but I’m even getting better at saying, “Shhhh. It’s self care! That means it’s okay to do what I think nurtures me even if it doesn’t seem monumental!”

Even so, I’m still one to track progress. I’ve noticed several shifts over this past 6 months.

I’m crafting more. While I’ve always gone through phases of making stuff, I’ve really been on a tear since October. I designed and created all of our holiday gifts. I completely remade Great Grandma Emma May‘s afghan. I’ve even taken it a step further and allowed myself to purchase “nicer” materials and yarns. Ned Andrew encourages this and even purchased me a new fair trade African Market Basket for my crochet. This is a great development.

I’ve given up electronic games. When they first came out, the online games offered through Facebook were pretty simple. They required 5 minutes a day to send someone a karma token or a flower or a button with something funny on it. Then the Flash stuff showed up. I started out playing a game that allowed me to chat with my sisters while we performed click-based farming tasks. Then I got pulled into the Send-Me-A-Goat-Athon that just sucks time out of your day. I knew better than to have more than one of these going at any one time, but even that got to be too much. The behavioral psychologists who drive the programming of these games are borderline evil for the tricks they play on folks to keep them logged in. I know better, so I’ve walked away. Whew! It feels great!

I’ve switched doctors. It sounds simple enough, but this is a big deal for me. I’ll spend 1400 hours researching and interviewing a docs to find the right one for my kids. Not so much for myself. After 25 years of chronic healthcare fun, I’ve gotten kind of tired of telling my story and being poked. So, I’d rather hang on to the not-so-great doc that I kind of accidentally ended up with — the one I’d rather go to a walk-in clinic for pneumonia than call for help — than find an Internist and Rheumatologist who are partners in my self care. When I sat down and really thought about that reality, I started asking around and found a terrific Internist. I’m still shopping for a Rheumy that fits.

I’m happy that we’re homeschooling. This is obviously different from the previous reality: I was resigned to the fact that we needed to be homeschooling. There are still days when I’d love to hop in the car and meet a colleague for coffee without having to arrange logistics that rival a corporate takeover. But, I’m truly feeling delight way more than overwhelm these days.

I’m writing on paper. I know! What an indulgence! Honestly, the computer and all of my little tech-y devices have so infiltrated every waking hour that picking up a pen and a paper journal feels almost subversive. I’m also keeping lists on paper again — in spite of the 14 apps on my phone and tablet and computer that promise to keep me synced. I’ve had an electronic planner since Palm invaded our lives in the mid-90s and have never really solidly made the switch. Now I’m no longer apologizing for it.

So, how is it going? Are you giving yourself permission to pay attention to your own needs? Are you performing self exams? Are you pausing to do something creative? Are you napping?

I’d love to know!

Filed Under: Blissification, Reflections, Self Care Day on the 6th

Edna Reworks Grandma Mae’s Granny Afghan

January 14, 2012 By Gina Lynette Leave a Comment

As I’ve mentioned before, when I was a tiny child, my Great Grandmother Emma Mae (we called her Gramma Mae) made me and my sisters and cousins each a granny square afghan. I’ve carried mine around the country for almost 40 years, but never quite knew what to do with it.

It was a small thing — 48” X 64” — and not particularly pretty to look at. But it means the world to me.

Her choice of square color and placement can only be described as “random”. She’d put 4 greens in a row and one of them would be a different shade, etc. She chose yellow for her “holding” color — and used several shades to complete the blanket. To top it all off, she used an abundance of thick, red thread to sew everything together.

After decades of staring at the only relic remaining from my connection with my Gramma Mae, I finally got brave and took the whole thing apart on New Year’s Day. Then I got braver and actually fixed some of the squares that were especially wonky. I made one more green square from the edging yarn to replace a blue square that was beyond repair.

To my complete amazement, our gauge is identical. And when I ripped a couple of the squares that needed some love, I discovered that — like me — she turns her rounds. It was a sweet connection and as I ripped out stitches and recrocheted the pieces, I could feel her hands on the yarn, too.

I then spent a couple of days arranging the squares until I got a layout that I liked. Once I knew where the squares belonged, I created a pattern with my word processing software and printed it out.

Once all that was done, I started edging each square in black Red Heart — the traditional holding color and the only brand of yarn I ever knew her to use — with two rows on each square and attaching as I went. Once they were all a single piece, I created a border of black with one row of yellow and a very simple chained scallop edge.

The afghan is now large enough to completely cover the top of a king size bed, or the back of a large sofa. It’s useful and somewhat prettier and I’m just delighted with it.

I’m even more delighted at the time I got to spend with my Grandma Mae. She’s been gone a long time, but it felt like she was kind of hanging around here over the past two weeks, encouraging me to be brave and rip apart her work, matching me stitch for stitch as I reassembled it, and whispering stories about rare, cool nights in Texas as I sit wrapped in this now-warm afghan in a somewhat colder Tennessee.

Filed Under: Blissification, Crochet, Reflections

The Cost of Knowing

January 4, 2012 By Gina Lynette Leave a Comment

It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price…

One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.

— Morris L. West, The Shoes of the Fisherman

Filed Under: Blissification, Pointing Forward Tagged With: Quote

Great Grandma Emma May

January 1, 2012 By Gina Lynette 2 Comments

Edna takes after quite a quirky collection of creative ladies. She’s pretty sure some of her perseverance comes from her Great-Grandma Emma May, who made this little blanket by feel after she could no longer see the stitches.

I’ve had this little 6 by 8 granny square afghan since I was a tiny child. It’s made it through moves and purges and floods and hurricanes and, understandably, none of the folks who have pilfered things from me over the years thought to take it. It’s a favorite — not because of it’s beauty, but because of who made it. It is, quite literally, the only relic I have from my father’s father’s mother and she made it for me.

I’ve stared at this little blanket for over 3 decades and wondered why my “Gramma May” used red thread to put it all together. I’ve also been curious about the placement of the colors. It appears truly random. It’s quirky, no doubt. My knowing that she was going blind as she made these little blankets (she made them for several of us great-grandbabies) helps explain some of her choices.

At any rate, I love this little blanket. I love the hands that knotted the yarn. I kind of like imagining that some of her affinity for crochet was passed to me and, along with it, her tenacity and ability to survive in a pretty harsh reality and still manage to make beautiful things.

Filed Under: Blissification, Reflections Tagged With: Crafts, Crochet, Edna, Family

How I Spent November’s Self Care Day on the 6th

November 6, 2011 By Gina Lynette Leave a Comment

When I first started the Self Care on the 6th thing, it was really the result of a rant. So I didn’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about the variations on how the day might go. I just launched. I’m actually proud of myself for this fact. I don’t tend to be a leaper as much as I’m a precontemplater. So, launching… that was amazing.

And here we are three months in. Self Care Day on the 6th landed on a Sunday this month. It also happens to be the day most of the United States flops our calendars back to “standard time” and gain an extra hour in our day. It’s always a tough adjustment for me. My circadian rhythms are evidently etched in titanium because it takes some serious sleep deprivation before I get on a new schedule.

So, today I rested during that extra hour. I slept until I woke up (no alarms) and managed to sleep about an hour later than I usually do. It was wonderful. I only felt a tiny bit guilty as I reminded myself that sleeping in was a act of self care.

My second act of self care today was allowing my string of blog silence continue in spite of the fact that I had a self-imposed deadline. I wanted to encourage y’all, but I took my own advice and didn’t try to pour from an empty cup. I am working on refilling it as I recover from a pretty harsh relapse, and just don’t have the eloquence or the energy to write. So, I didn’t. I’m here to report that it feels really good to follow my soul urgings in that way.

What I really wanted to do today was be present with my family. With that in mind, I used my extra hour to teach Lizzy to crochet. It’s a meticulous process, but she has the determination to learn. I love this woman. And, yes, she’s a woman now. She turned 18 this week. She’s been asking to learn to crochet for a while, so I got her a great handmade bag, a big hook, and a skein of yarn as part of her birthday celebration. There’s something precious about passing down this very rewarding art to my daughter.

I have another family-focused urging tickling the back of my head. I have been in precontemplation mode about homeschooling our youngest daughter for a couple of months. The question is, can I follow my intuition on this big a decision or am I still harboring fears about re-making that leap?

So, I’m going to use the extra hour one more time. We’re going to sit down as a family and talk about the future and how we’d like to go about living in the now while keeping an eye on then. What does education look like for our family? What does work look like? How do we schedule our days? Our months? Our years?

Living on purpose requires a bit of courage, suspension of disbelief, and pausing to take stock. It also takes time. Good thing we got that extra hour today.

Filed Under: Blissification, Happy and Included, Homework, Pointing Forward, Self Care Day on the 6th

Cold, Rainy Camping: or A Good Day for Zen Doodles

October 27, 2011 By Gina Lynette Leave a Comment

Ned Andrew has an annual retreat he attends and we all tag along. We get the better deal as we get to hang out in a cabin and take walks around the lake while he sits in meetings.

This year it’s raining. A bunch. So, we’re stuck inside.

Good thing we have plenty to keep us busy.

I’ve got a box of great pens and little pieces of paper to doodle on.

The kids are engrossed in a game.

Champ’s holding down the fort.

Maybe it will rain all week…

Filed Under: Blissification, Gina's Creating, Homework

I believe in my webmaster!

October 23, 2011 By Gina Lynette 2 Comments

This one’s for you, Robert!

Robert Owen is my webmaster, hosts my website on his servers, and walks me through all sorts of conversations that start out with my asking, “Would it be a pain in the butt to reconfigure time space and add a coffee dispenser to my contact page??” and ending with his sending me an email that says something like, “It should be there now. Take a look.”

So, Robert is moving all of the bells and whistles to a new server. (Wasn’t Jeeves doing his job?) He tells me that this will do amazing things. I can’t imagine what those things are, but I do believe anything is possible when Robert is playing with the ones and zeroes.

Go! Robert, go!

Filed Under: Blissification, Pointing Forward

What does homeschooling look like?

October 21, 2011 By Gina Lynette Leave a Comment

As I’ve mentioned, I am an accidental homeschooling mom. While it isn’t my first go in the home education rodeo, it is still somewhat a new thing this time around. It takes some time to completely switch gears, rework your schedule and your life, and get some of the “now what!?!?!” out of your head and replace it with “here’s how…”

Boo is a math and spacial genius with a massive vocabulary, a love of reading, and an affinity for all-things electronic. He is not a writer in the sense that it is almost impossible for him to take spoken or thought language and put it into any written form. Keyboards don’t help. It’s as if his brain decided to use those circuits for something else.

So, if he can’t write, how can he be a genius? Let me first say that I don’t use this word lightly. Genius is as genius does, my grandmother would say. Yes, he tests off the charts in every academic and achievement assessment thrown at him. His IQ scores — as little faith as I place in those — are consistently through the roof. So, he has the paper cred. But without any of that, the reality is that we knew this kid was smart before he ever spoke his first word. It’s something just innate. The sad truth is that no one got to experience any of this brilliance as he was being bodily removed from classrooms because boredom turned into unsanctioned creativity.

I wish I could say that the minute I brought him home everything turned into a series of wonderful brain-stimulating activities interspersed with museum visits and park dates. Well, we have done each of those things, but the reality is that I’ve been in a denial-induced shock and only sort of half-committing to this thing. We have and use a core curriculum. I’ve bought a dozen magazine subscriptions that he reads cover to cover the day each issue arrives. I can’t keep him in books –he reads them faster than we get them from the library. He has robotics and electronic circuitry kits, craft supplies, and manipulatives of every type at his reach. He’s learning, but I haven’t really been in it with him.

We’ve been fighting some recently. I want him to do his educational stuff and he wants to do something else. I want him to clean his room and he wants to do something else. I want him to come to dinner and he wants to do something else. I’ve never had this kind of relationship with this child and I don’t believe it’s just a bunch of changing hormones.

The good news is that I think I’m finally coming back around. Yes, me. I think I needed an attitude adjustment.

Boo didn’t choose to be home with me any more than he chose to have autism or be brilliant or be a boy or be at all. He’s a kid who likes what he likes and has a pretty strong neurological excuse to be a pain in the neck. Yet, for the most part he’s a sweet child who really does want to be in relationship with folks — including and especially me — in spite of what his diagnosis might indicate.

So, this morning, after spending the week in a bit of despair about the whole thing, I relented. Instead of doing the “first work then play” mantra I’ve been harping on for weeks, I brought out an unopened block set that was stuffed into a toy bin the day after Christmas. I handed him the pieces and he had challenge #60 completed before I got the cards open. He completed 6 more in the time it took me to get my camera.

Champ the Weather Dog made his appearance and I kept my mouth shut as the two of them worked together rather than telling Boo to leave the dog alone and get back to work. We did hit the online curriculum pretty hard this afternoon, but it wasn’t a fight this time. It was a treat to spend the day with my amazing kiddo.

Even if it took me a while to get with the program.